SISTER MARY LOU 

INFO COMING SOON 

SISTER MARY JOY

COMING SOON

SISTER MARY JANE

MARY JANE IS A DIVA WHO INSIDE HER OWN HEAD IS WHITNEY HOUSTON, BUT IN REALITY IS MORE OF AN AMERICAN VERSION OF WHITNEY FROM EASTENDERS. THE REV MET HER WHILST SHE WAS WORKING AS THE MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT IN A RUN-DOWN STRIP CLUB- SINGING HER HEART OUT EVERY NIGHT TO LOSERS WHO JUST SHOUT AT HER TO GET HER TITS OUT. 
 

MORGAN THE ORGAN

FOUND LIVING IN A BIN BEHIND A WALMART.  NOT SURE IF HE IS AN EVIL GENIUS OR A FULLY BLOWN RETARD, PLAYS THE HAMMOND ORGAN LIKE A MOTHER FUCKER.  

DR VALENTINE

BEATS ARE HIS MEDICINE, LOVE IS HIS TONIC.

HE’LL STEAL YOUR HEART AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND YOU WON’T GIVE A DAMN.

A PILL FOR EVERY SITUATION, HIS RHYTHM SPELLS TEMPTATION.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, AND LADIES - DR VALENTINE WILL SEE YOU NOW…

T.W

INCREDIBLE BALLS.

A LIFETIME OF LOW-FREQUENCY FUNK JAMS HAS LEFT T DUBYA ALMOST TOTALLY DEAF, BUT HIS CURSE BECAME A BLESSING AS HE HAS NOW LEARNT TO COMMUNICATE WITH THE WORLD THROUGH HIS BELOVED BASS GUITAR. 

IN THE LANGUAGE KNOWN AS BASS-SOLO “BOW-PA-DOH” MEANS “PRAISE THE MOTHER FUCKIN’ LORD”...I THINK… IT’S EITHER THAT OR “STOP THE TOUR BUS I NEED THE TOILET”

THE PIED PIPER

HE MET THE DEVIL AT A CROSSROADS AND MADE A SECRET PACT.

SWAPPED HIS NAME FOR A BLUES GUITAR AND SOME SAID THAT WAS THAT.

BUT THOUGH HE NOW STRUMMED LIKE LIGHTNING, PEOPLE NEVER KNEW HIS NAME, UNTIL THE REVEREND ALABAMA BAPTISED HIM AND THE PIED PIPER HE BECAME.

SODOMY SIMON

EXCELLENT AT BREATHING FOR LONG PERIODS DOWN A TRUMPET.

SO-NAMED BECOMING A MASSIVE PAIN IN MY ASS BY CALLING ME EVERY WEEK FOR SIX MONTHS DEMANDING THE OMGITC BRASS-SECTION GET THEIR OWN NAME (SUBSEQUENTLY ‘BRASS IN MY ASS’.)

WORLD WHISTLING CHAMPION 2010

DANNY THE SAX PEST

LIKE A HAIRY MAGPIE HE LOVES SHINY METAL.

WILL POLISH ANYTHING FOR A DOLLAR.

RESTRICTED BY COURT ORDER FROM PLAYING ‘CARELESS WHISPER’ IN/AROUND HAMPSTEAD HEATH PUBLIC LAVATORIES.